Discover: What If They Don’t See You the Way You See You?
Perception is Power, Are You Managing Yours?
Your reputation is not built solely on facts, but rather on perception.
Whether you are a senior leader, entrepreneur, mid-level manager, or an emerging professional, the way others perceive you directly impacts your credibility, influence, and opportunities.
You may believe you are confident and assertive, yet your team might see you as intimidating.
You might think you are approachable, but colleagues may perceive you as passive or disconnected.
Without intentional perception management, you risk being misunderstood, undervalued, or misjudged.
As Jorge Loebl, founder of Revolving Change, said in our latest podcast, “Perception is reality. My perception is my reality, regardless of whether you agree or support it.”
This means that your intentions do not always align with how people experience you, and if you do not take control of how you are perceived, others will define it for you.
This blog will explore how you can ethically and strategically shape your perception while remaining authentic and credible.
Why Perception Always Feels Like the Truth
In the podcast, Joanna reflected on the subjectivity of perception and how it often feels like an illusion.
She recalled a statement she had heard: “Perception only becomes reality when two people agree on the same thing, they perceive the same thing, and it becomes reality.”
Jorge responded by emphasizing that perception is always reality for the individual experiencing it, whether or not others agree.
He illustrated this concept by sharing a personal story about his color blindness and how it shapes his reality differently from others.
“I remember when my children were little, and now with my grandchildren, they would test me on colors. ‘What color is this, Daddy?' And I would say the wrong color. They thought it was funny, but my reality was different. I might see brown where you see red, but I am not pretending, that is simply how I perceive it. No matter what you tell me, my perception is my truth.”
This principle applies to leadership, business, and personal interactions.
If people perceive you as distant, arrogant, or unapproachable, that becomes their reality, whether or not you agree.
Your challenge is to bridge the gap between how you want to be perceived and how others actually see you.
The Disconnect Between How You Show Up and How You’re Seen
Jorge shared a compelling case study about a professional athlete he coached, illustrating how perception gaps can negatively impact an individual’s reputation.
“He was one of the best in his sport, but he was getting a bad reputation for always complaining in interviews. He thought he was coming across as assertive and passionate, but when we watched the recordings together, he was shocked. He realized he looked whiny and bitter, not strong. That was a huge wake-up call. He was being perceived as something completely different than what he intended.”
Many professionals face similar misalignments.
You may believe you are strong and decisive, but your team may see you as rigid and unapproachable.
You may think you are pushing for excellence, but others may view you as overly critical.
To uncover these gaps, try the Mirror Exercise:
- Look at yourself in the mirror and describe how you think you present yourself.
- Record yourself speaking and analyze your tone, facial expressions, and body language.
- Compare this with feedback from colleagues, mentors, or team members.
By identifying the gaps between your self-perception and external perception, you take the first step toward managing how you are truly seen.
Why What You Say (and Don’t Say) Shapes Everything
Jorge explained that perception is shaped by multiple factors, including:
- Communication Style: The clarity, tone, and intent behind your words.
- Non-Verbal Cues: Facial expressions, posture, and body language.
- Past Experiences and Biases: Personal histories that shape how others interpret your behavior.
He shared a story about a CEO who unknowingly had a reputation for being intimidating.
“He was a brilliant leader, but people were afraid of him. He had no idea. To him, he was just being efficient. But to his employees, his tone and body language made them feel dismissed and unimportant. Once he became aware of this, he made adjustments, softened his tone, and his leadership perception changed almost overnight.”
If you do not manage these elements, people will form their own interpretations of who you are, whether they are accurate or not.
Design: Turn Intention into Influence
Get Clear on How You Want to Be Seen
Ask yourself:
- How do I want to be perceived in my role?
- Does my current behavior reinforce this image?
- Where does my perception misalign with reality?
Jorge cautions against fabricating an artificial image, stating, “Perception management is not about faking an identity. It is about ensuring that how you are seen is actually how you want to be seen.”
Manage Perception Without Losing Yourself
To align your perception with your leadership goals, implement these strategies:
- Communicate with clarity so your intent is not misunderstood.
- Adjust your non-verbal cues to reinforce your message.
- Curate your digital presence to match your professional identity.
- Proactively seek feedback to identify misperceptions and course-correct.
Jorge recalled working with a corporate client who wanted to manipulate their public image without improving their service quality.
“They wanted to build a perception that was completely different from reality. We refused to work with them because perception management should be about transparency, not deception. If your perception does not match reality, it will collapse over time.”
Authentic perception management is about aligning reality with perception, not fabricating an illusion.
Deliver: Protect the Image You’ve Worked So Hard to Build
Your Reputation Is a Pattern, Not a Moment
Managing perception is an ongoing process.
Your words, actions, and decisions must consistently reinforce your desired image.
Jorge emphasized, “If you want to be seen as a fair leader, but you only give feedback when things go wrong, people will perceive you as critical, not constructive. Your behaviors must match your intent.”
To manage perception in high-stakes situations, consider these strategies:
- Crisis Communication: Stay composed and transparent in difficult moments.
- Addressing Misconceptions: Correct misunderstandings with facts rather than defensiveness.
- Reputation Recovery: If perception has been damaged, acknowledge it, take responsibility, and demonstrate improvement over time.
Refine Your Image with Courageous Feedback
Jorge believes feedback is the cornerstone of perception management.
He shared a story about a junior team member who was anxious about how they were perceived at work.
“They were afraid to even send emails because they worried how others would interpret their tone. I told them to start small, pick one trusted colleague, and ask for honest feedback. Once they built confidence with one person, they expanded to more. That is how you take control of perception, one step at a time.”
By continuously seeking, analyzing, and applying feedback, you can refine your leadership presence and ensure your perception matches your true intent.
Conclusion: Shape the Narrative or Be Defined By It
Explore how perception management plays out in your specific leadership role. Continue the journey:
- For Top-Level Managers: Perception Management for Senior Leaders: Maintaining Credibility and Trust
- For Mid-Level Managers: How Mid-Level Managers Can Lead with Authority Without Losing Trust
- For Emerging Professionals: How Emerging Professionals Can Build a Credible Brand at Work
Stop Letting Others Define Your Leadership Capacity.
Your leadership image deserves to match your impact.
If people don’t see your value, they won’t support your vision.
Inside any of our Memberships, you’ll learn how to close the gap between intent and perception—so your leadership lands exactly the way you mean it to.