Why Negotiation Is the Skill That Changes Everything
Negotiation is often misunderstood. Many people think of it as a battle where one side must outmaneuver the other.
In reality, negotiation is an essential skill for business, leadership, and everyday life.
Whether it is securing contracts, resolving workplace conflicts, or managing team expectations, negotiation is about finding common ground and achieving a beneficial outcome for all parties involved.
Jorge Loebl, founder of Revolving Change, highlights the costly mistakes that arise when negotiation is approached incorrectly.
“Negotiation is what often goes wrong and causes a lot of money to all parties. People wind up fighting each other when it goes wrong. It has to be by definition a win-win. A negotiation where there’s a winner and a loser is not necessarily a good negotiation.”
Despite its importance, many people enter negotiations unprepared, emotionally reactive, and focused on their own gain rather than mutual success.
By shifting our perspective and developing a structured approach to negotiation, we can achieve better results, strengthen relationships, and ensure long-term success.
Stop Competing. Start Creating Win-Win Outcomes.
One of the most damaging misconceptions about negotiation is that it is about winning at the expense of the other party.
Loebl challenges this mindset, stating:
“People always default to thinking, ‘Out of this deal, I have to have leverage over the other person.’ They try to get the most they can, which is fair enough. But the key is that there are different paths to get there. It depends on mindset and intention.”
Approaching negotiation with a win-win mentality ensures that both sides leave the table feeling satisfied and respected.
This is especially critical in business, where relationships matter long after a single deal is done.
Loebl recalls his experience negotiating with Nokia in Finland, where a handshake was considered as binding as a contract.
“I told them, ‘I’ll bring the contract next week.’ The vice president looked at me and said, ‘What do you mean? We just shook hands.’ That was the level of trust in their culture.”
However, trust in negotiations today is far more fragile.
Many enter negotiations with skepticism and hidden agendas, assuming the other party is trying to gain an unfair advantage.
Loebl warns:
“That makes negotiations very difficult. If we don’t negotiate in good faith and we don’t have a minimum level of mutual confidence and trust, then it’s going to be very hard to negotiate effectively.”
To ensure productive negotiations, it is crucial to establish transparency, manage expectations, and create an environment where both parties feel confident in the process.
Discover: The 4 Negotiation Skills That Define Your Impact
Preparation and Research
- Define clear objectives before entering any negotiation
- Understand the other party’s needs, concerns, and possible objections
- Plan for potential power dynamics and emotional triggers
Loebl emphasizes:
“Preparation is essential, but equally essential is mindset and the belief that we want a win-win outcome. It is not about ripping somebody off or winning over somebody.”
Many negotiations fail due to lack of preparation, especially when decision-making authority is unclear.
“If in the middle of the negotiation, the person says, ‘I cannot decide this, someone else has to take over,’ that is not confidence-inspiring. It derails trust, raises big question marks, and introduces uncertainty.”
Emotional Intelligence and Trust-Building
- Recognize and manage emotions to maintain control of the conversation
- Establish rapport before formal discussions to reduce tension
- Use transparency to prevent hidden agendas from damaging trust
A major cause of failed negotiations is emotional volatility.
Loebl references Daniel Shapiro’s book, Negotiating the Non-Negotiable, which states:
“An emotionally charged negotiation is a failed negotiation.”
Loebl adds:
“Emotions are non-negotiable. If you feel something, you feel it. The key is to neutralize those feelings in advance.”
One way to reduce emotional tension is to establish rapport before negotiations begin.
“Have a coffee. Talk about your families, hobbies, where you come from. Build a basic bond before you start. That alone will take away a lot of the emotional friction.”
Expectation Management and Power Balancing
- Clearly define expectations upfront to prevent misunderstandings
- Neutralize power plays such as controlling the meeting environment
- Ensure that all decision-makers are present from the beginning
“If there’s something you cannot reveal upfront, at least signal that it exists,” Loebl advises.
“Say, ‘There is something we might need to discuss later.’ This keeps credibility intact and prevents the other party from feeling blindsided.”
Power dynamics also play a significant role in negotiation outcomes.
“Power plays happen all the time. Is it your office or mine? Your location or mine? Am I being interrupted constantly? These things affect the negotiation more than people realize.”
Framing and Reframing Conversations
- Use strategic questioning instead of direct statements
- Reframe negative situations into opportunities for collaboration
- Keep the focus on long-term outcomes rather than short-term wins
Loebl emphasizes that a negotiation framed as a conflict is destined to fail.
“If you start a negotiation with a mindset of ‘us vs. them,’ you have already lost. Instead, start with, ‘What is the common ground we can build on?’ That small shift changes everything.”
Reframing is particularly useful in workplace negotiations.
Whether discussing promotions, salary increases, or internal conflicts, managers should shift the conversation from demands to collaboration.
Design: A Negotiation Style That Works in Any Situation
Negotiation is not just for the boardroom.
It is how we align priorities with vendors. How we resolve tension within teams. How we advocate for our value in a performance review.
Loebl has worked with CEOs in high-stakes union negotiations where tensions run high.
“These are politically and socially explosive situations. The key is defining upfront what outcome you want and finding a path that both parties can live with.”
The same structure applies whether you are negotiating a six-figure contract or deciding how to divide tasks with your spouse.
Great negotiators do not just change tactics. They change their mindset.
Deliver: Results Through Clarity, Not Instinct
Negotiation is a skill you can practice. Not a personality trait. Not a magic talent.
Most people negotiate by default. They respond emotionally or rely on instincts.
The most effective leaders design their negotiations before they ever sit down at the table.
Key Takeaways
- Recognize that negotiation is everywhere, not just in business
- Shift from a winning versus losing mindset to creating shared value
- Build negotiation into a structured, repeatable skill
Explore Negotiation Through Every Leadership Lens
Want to see what negotiation mastery looks like at every level of leadership? Dive deeper here:
For senior executives and decision-makers:
Negotiation in Business: Securing Deals, Managing Conflict, and Leading with Confidence
For team leads and operational managers:
Negotiation as a Leadership Skill: Managing Teams, Workplace Conflict, and Career Growth
For emerging leaders and first-time managers:
Negotiation in Everyday Life: How to Get What You Want Without Conflict
Upgrade the Way You Negotiate
Negotiation affects everything. Your leadership, your relationships, your results. If you’re tired of defaulting to emotional reactions or leaving value on the table, it’s time to lead with intention.